Well, as it turned out, my talking boxwoods weren’t invested with garden fairies but with leafminers. Bummer. Two days later, the visual evidence was as strong as the audio – little yellow blisters were appearing on the leaves and the sound was even louder. Big bummer.
A quick call to a local nursery and a trip out to get the recommended spray and two sprays later, they are quiet but still look bad. How I wish it could have been the fairies!